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title = “It’s What Happened Around Us”
author = [“Wasps”]
date = 2022-06-17
draft = false
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There’s hardly a need for an introduction paragraph. I could post some stock art of a pirate flag and you’d know what spurred this, assuming you haven’t just woken up from a years long coma and resisted the overpowering and righteous urge to hurl yourself through a window. The circus surrounding Johnny “Rape Her Corpse to Make Sure She’s Dead” Depp’s defamation trial aganist Amber Heard has been like asphixiation by helium, its certainly a bad thing no one seems to be handling well but a few people made funny noises because of it so most of us seem fine with it.
I’ve seen quite a lot about how many outlets spent gross amounts of money to drag Amber Heard through the mud. Depp’s anecdote about Heard shitting the bed got more coverage than his previously mentioned admitted desire to rape Heard’s corpse and every half witted response his lawyer managed to squeak out between shoveling handfuls of shit into her gob was treated like the most well played legal strategy since OJ made his hands swell. Its a scene we’ve seen whenever the world is asked to examine the gross reality of violence against women, in fact tactical use of apologia we saw in this trial has already inspired the sludge of the Earth to copy Depp’s tactics in case of their own coming under fire.
I’m not particularly interested in going into the media side of things however, Rayne Fisher-Quann has already done this in spectuaclar fashion, rather I want to look at the other side and talk about why the public is so eager to gobble up such slander. It would be easy to just say “Dumb dumb can’t think for self” and give myself a congratulatory wank, it would also be easy to tip toe around the heart of the matter and make this another episode of Men Bad: Tonight but neither approach offers anything of value or intrest to me (aside from the wank, of course) or you, seeing as how thats the same think piece we read about Kavanaugh and Spacey and Trump and so on.
My goal is not to paint Heard as a feminist icon or Joan of Arc, I’ll point to Fisher-Quann’s piece again with this excerpt;
> … I find no value in flattening the experiences or motivations of either party in this case to fit an easily consumable Marvel movie plotline. I’m not interested in buying into the dominant narrative that treats this trial like a soap opera, with characters that exist to be rooted for and against. Much of the popular discourse acts as though there are only two feasible options when it comes to Heard’s (and, really, any woman’s) innocence: either she’s an evil, psychotic manipulator who’s guilty on all counts, or she must have to be a perfectly innocent angel who’s never done anything wrong. I don’t think Amber Heard is a feminist hero, and I’m not saying this to make my support of her more palatable or to perform impartiality — I’m saying it because she shouldn’t have to be.
Only men get to be complicated in the public eye. We can go round and round on if the latest abortion clinic bomber was really a bad guy or just misunderstood and we can certainly have a sit down conversation on how at fault a man is for the rape of a young woman in a frat house, and you can make quite a killing with a morally grey retelling of Jerffry Dahmer’s crimes, but women will either be all or nothing.
If you can remember the confirmation hearing for Brett Kavanaugh you certainly remember the rape accusations. Everyone with a connection to the outside world had a front row seat to a future supreme court justice getting emotional over calendars and a parade of talking heads discussing if the women accusing Kavanaugh were telling the truth or secretly eating babies when the cameras weren’t pointed at them. More recently, Elon Musk’s defense that anyone who accused him of sexual assasult should be able to rattle off a road map of each fold and flap on his skin. While both the Kavanaugh camp and Musk’s comment were condemned by many they were defended by at least an equal amount. In fact, there seems to be little need to defend them in the media at this point. Ever since some genius said “What if the lady lied though” we’ve gained a never ending parade of online sleuths to instantly fire blindly at any case where a woman threatens a powerful man. This leads me to my central point: Society has never really had an issue with violence against women.
Certainly we like to have a pageant about the thing. I think an apt example is the case of the Exonerated Five, a group of black and latino men accused of violating a jogger in Central Park and jailed on extremely, extremely poor evidence. If you do any reading on this case you’ll find the woman at the center of it, Trisha Meili, is often cast to the side for a focus on racism and injustice in the NYPD. This is not because of some non-existant rivalry between POC and feminist historians but because even at the time of the case she was more a side detail to her own attack. The main feature was that POC were once again tasked to prove they aren’t walking around with boners set to automatically fire on white women. Compare this to white-on-white sex crimes of the day and you find no similar circus. The problem wasn’t that a woman had been raped, the problem was racial etiquette wasn’t upheld. Similarly no one seemed to particularly care about if Heard had been abused or not, I’ve even met people who had no idea that was a central part of the case, but rather if Depp had ever said a naughty word or two. This is what I mean by “society has never really had an issue with violence against women” because we always seem to find a way to shove it out of the way for preferred topics. A rape in a night club will be met with the ghoulish gas explusions questioning what she was wearing, how drunk was she, what was the percise word choice and tone, if her body had at any point released even a molecule of the “lets fuck” phermone that sent the man into a blind frenzy, etc. This even occurs in cases around extremely young victims as any search into your local high school or catholic church’s history will show. But if a rape occurs and the case has even one interesting quality to the vultures who run things such as a minority attacker, relevancy to a hot button issue, or the victim being of high status (the only quality I can think of that takes the victim into account) then we may give her the benefit of the account. I can’t even really call it something similar to the whore/madonna complex, its more like a whore/possible whore in tragic circumstances complex. Its not what happened to us, its what happened around us.
In my stand up, I had a joke about the phrase “consent is sexy.” Essentially, I find it humorous in the most macabre way that we have to make fun sayings and phrases to remind people not to rape. Usually I pair it with things of a similar nature like “I before E except after C” or “Please excuse my dear aunt Sally” to emphasize the juvenile sexuality women have to fight against daily by breaking it down to the most simple level, our own trauma not being empathetic unless it sounds like Dr. Seuss wrote it. I’ve since retired the joke because it depresses me and this is precisely why, it’s not just how we talk about violence but how we don’t talk about it that follows this pattern. It isn’t enough that a human being has been beaten, raped, and left to die, we need to be able to pick out a greater narrative from it. After all, women are harmed all the time, that’s just life, come back when you’ve got something I’ll change the channel to hear about.
Freud’s Jokes and Their Relation to the Unconscious asserts that the enjoyment of humor comes from its relation to suppression of serious talk. In order for a joke to work you have to overcome any inhibitions around the topic of the humor and then allow themself to laugh at the humor derived from the topic. For example, if someone laughs at a rape joke you can fairly accurately infer their distaste for rape comes from a societal teaching and not any personal moral ground. Now with that in mind, look at the following:
{{< figure src="/ox-hugo/amberheardtweet.jpeg" >}}
Any laughs that could be had from this tweet hinge on the viewer finding the appearance of a woman reliving immense trauma for a televised audience to be hilariously bad acting, to view a tale of domestic abuse the way a group of friends would view Manos: The Hands of Fate. Now consider the fact that this tweet and many similar tweets, memes, and videos went viral because of how many people saw a woman recounting true horror and lost themselves giggling. A popular saying online is that you can’t force a meme, that you can’t make something a popular image or joke without it naturally gaining that statue. No one had to force the now meme status of Heard’s case, we had already accepted that a woman’s trauma was entertainment first and tragedy second.